Rest Needn't be Horizontal

Last night I had the best night in a long time. Most of my time is either spent with twin toddlers, who are frenetic and a whirlwind of scurrying, chatter, sticky hands and emotions. The rest of my time is otherwise spent with people, and my need for being alone mainly goes unmet. I’m a lark by nature, and even earlier to bed thanks to the midnight shenanigans that go in my home.

When a close friend shared an invite to a women’s drumming circle, it ticked all of my boxes. Close to home to save stressful travel, a beautiful venue to feel uplifted and a circle of women. I typically love being in the company of women. Mothering twins has often felt rather lonely though, as I always feel a bit singled out when I’m around others, with lots of “I can’t imagine how you do it” and quips about being a supermum. Having been late to have my family, I still feel a bit of an outsider when it comes to mum tribes. Many of my closest friends no longer live in London, or even in the UK and it can be hard to make plans that actually stick. Much as I love treating women and babies, I bore easily with talk about sleep schedules and developmental leaps and miss having space for my own passions.

So the opportunity to have a spontaneous night out that wasn’t around alcohol or too much chit chat was a full body yes. I’ve seen the drumming teacher play live supporting a number of artists, and female drummers are always so cool. This particular teacher has a radiance and ease about her that is electric.

I know a number of people who have journeyed on shamanic paths and made their own drums. Although I love drums (strange for someone who needs a lot of silence!), I thought that most are made from animal skins. Being a vegetarian, this hasn’t been appealing. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the calabash that we were playing is made from a gourd (pumpkin).

When I walked into church hall, I was transfixed by the circle of drums that were set up on mats around the room. The drums felt tactile, being semi-spherical and with a pleasing smoothness to their touch. The calabash is from West Africa, and is meant to be representative of the womb. It reminded me of the ‘garbo’ from my own Gujarati culture, which is an earthenware pot that also represents the womb of the Divine Feminine.

We began with some warm-up exercises, moving to the beat in a circle. Again it reminded me of my own culture, with the beautiful dance ‘garba’ that’s performed during Navratri, the festival of 9 nights.

Rhythm is inherent in our nature and bodies. It’s said that the first rhythm that we orientate to is the sound of our mother’s heartbeat. Drumming is part of many indigenous cultures, in the way that dance is integral to humanity. Sacred ceremonies would be performed around the drum, and a way for the community to release challenging emotions and feel renewed. Rhythm has benefits on the brain and body.

We learned how to tap the drum with a stick, fist and palm to create different sounds. Sitting on the floor and using my hands felt primal and enlivening, in the way that many people talk about ceramics or gardening.

My experience of drumming was to feel the most present that I have for a long time. I’m often complaining about the slowness of my brain nowadays, whether it’s because of a usual level of tiredness/ mum brain/ domestic drudgery/ overuse of screens. I noticed that if I got distracted, I lost the rhythm and I had to pay attention.

I was struck by how rested and yet vibrant I felt after just an evening in the company of the drums. I might be a while off getting the kind of rest that comes from a full night of sleep or a retreat, but this felt completely wholesome and necessary. I reached vibes of freedom and joy that felt precious in these challenging times.